Sex is one of the most intimate things you can do with a partner. Yet only 63% of adults in the world say they’re satisfied with their romantic or sex life.
If you feel like your sex life is suffering, and the flame’s going out in the bedroom, do not worry. So long as you make an effort, there are ways to spice things up and rekindle the fire. Before you know it, your life behind closed doors will go from 0 to 60!
Read on for 11 ways you can improve your sex life so you and your partner have a better relationship.
1. Don’t Focus on the quantity
You know what they say: quality over quantity.
You might hear that other couples are having sex five times a week, and you’re feeling inadequate. But who’s to say every session is mindblowing? Chances are, they probably aren’t.
Besides, it’s not a competition. Whether a couple has sex five times a week or 50, all that matters is the right frequency for you and your partner.
If the two of you are low libido, then once a week can be more than enough. So instead of trying to rack up your tallies, focus on what happens during these sessions to make them unforgettable.
2. Increase Physical Affection
We’re not only talking about sexual touches either. Physical affection is a way to literally connect with your significant other, and it shows them that you love and care for them. It can reassure them that you still find them attractive, especially if you can’t keep your hands off them.
If you’re not happy with your sex life, then be careful that you don’t use physical affection as a form of manipulation. For example, some people may withhold touch if they’re frustrated, as this punishes their partner. Or they may go overboard with PDA in hopes that it’ll convince their significant other to have sex with them.
Make sure that the touches you’re giving are genuine. That way, you’ll strengthen both your physical and emotional bonds with your SO.
3. Touch Without Expectations
On that note, you can improve your sexual relationship by taking the focus off the penetrative act.
Again, physical touch is vital, and so do things like cuddling and kissing. Don’t have expectations for where it’ll lead to; if all that happens is a makeout session, then be happy about the outcome.
You can also touch one another in erogenous areas other than the genitals. For instance, lightly dragging your hand across the small of your partner’s back or thigh can be sensual, and leave them wanting more. In addition, this is the perfect opportunity to show one another what you like (and don’t).
4. Do Some Research
It seems like every day, research reveals something new we never knew about ourselves. And you can bet that there are some interesting pieces of information in the world of sex!
You might think you already know everything about sex and intimacy but think again. Just a five-minute browse on the internet would prove otherwise, so it’ll do you good to stay on top of things.
Whether you’re confused about something, want to learn more about a certain topic, or are having specific issues in bed, there’s bound to be an in-depth article or research paper out there. Knowledge is power, so get reading!
If you find it difficult to speak directly to your SO about something, then presenting them with this research can open up conversations too.
5. Communicate With Your Partner
We love and care for our significant others, so it’s a tough place to be when they’re enthusiastic about something, and you have to shoot them down. But faking orgasms isn’t benefitting anyone in the long run, so it’s best to rip that bandaid off ASAP.
Don’t feel pressured to pretend you like something just because everyone else seems to like it in porn. You’re a unique person, and you owe it to both yourself and your SO to get exactly what you want and like.
Before you discuss things, go over what you’d like to address and how to say things in a constructive way. Sex is a sensitive subject, after all, and you don’t want to make your partner feel bad.
You need to time things right too. Don’t bring up things while in the heat of the moment; wait until you’re both calm and relaxed and not in the middle of doing the deed.
6. Get Sex Toys
78% of Americans over 18 have at least one sex toy, so there’s a good chance that you have one (or a few!) in your home. And if you don’t, maybe it’s time to try them out.
Regardless, there’s no such thing as too many sex toys. There are penetrative, clitoral, waterproof, etc., vibrators for women, prostate massagers, masturbator sleeves, etc., for men, and even couples’ toys.
Needless to say, there are so many aids out there that can help you have better sex. And they won’t replace you either! They’ll only make intimacy better.
7. Explore Sexual Fetishes
Vanilla sex is perfectly fine, but if you’ve had sexual fetishes you’ve never brought up with your partner, then it might be a good idea to speak up! You never know if they’re interested in the same things, and if your sex life is stagnating, then it’s the optimal time to try something new.
While buying sex toys, you can ask your SO how they feel about particular toys and accessories. If they respond positively, then you can discuss the fetishes further, then give them a try.
Make sure that you go into things with no pressure. If a fetish is a hard limit for one of you, then don’t push boundaries. And if one or both of you don’t lie it after you’ve tried it, then leave it at that.45
8. Make Time for Sex
We get it that you’re both busy adults, but sex and intimacy are key to keeping a relationship alive. Without addressing your sexual needs, you can quickly fall out of touch with your significant other.
Make an effort to pencil in a date night every once in a while. If you’ve got very limited time, then at least “schedule” sex so you know 100% there’s time for you and your SO to focus solely on one another and your sexual desires. It might not sound hot, but when you make a conscious decision to have sex, this can get things going, and more organic sessions will follow.
9. Have Spontaneous Sex Too
On the flip side, if you already schedule sex and find it tedious to have sex every day at the same time, switch things up by giving in to spontaneity.
Erase “sex at 8:00 pm” on your calendar and let your desires take over when they wish. It can be challenging if you have a busy life and/or kids to take care of, but that’s where creativity comes in!
For instance, if the kids go to school between 9:00 am and 3:00 pm, the two of you can sneak home or off somewhere private for a quickie during your lunch breaks at work. You’ll feel like teenager again!
10. Live Healthy Lifestyles
It’s hard to feel in the mood for sex if you’re overweight, don’t sleep enough, and don’t manage your stress well. Making positive lifestyle changes will benefit not only your sex life but also your overall health.
Try to eat a healthier diet; cut out junk food and sugar. Exercise more, and get at least seven to eight hours of sleep a night. And if you’re stressing about things, find ways to blow off steam and/or go to counseling.
The better your state of mind is, the better your sex will be!
11. Try Sexual Enhancements
Sometimes, we all need a little push. We should love the bodies we’re in, but it’s ok to get outside help (such as sex toys).
There are supplements and pills that can improve your libido or improve your endurance. There are even procedures and treatments that can enlarge your penis, such as Prometheus.
Before making any decisions, discuss them with your partner first. You’d be surprised at what their opinion is, and you might not even need these enhancements to improve sex.
See Your Sex Life Improve Drastically
Your sex life is an essential part of your relationship. Without active efforts to keep things in the bedroom alive, things can quickly deteriorate, which can then affect other parts of your daily life.
So make your SO a priority and hone in on the things that make them tick. When they see what a large effort you’re making, they’ll reciprocate. And as a result, your sessions behind doors will be steamy!
